RANdomness ~ Thoughts from ME

RANdomness

1. I have a PR ~ Personal Record that is! YAY me. I had a great 10K on one of the hilliest, toughest courses ever.
2. OK, really when you do a race, wait to wear your race shirt AFTER the race. I hate to see people walking/racing in the race shirt. UGH!
3. We're getting a taste of spring and I'm getting antsy. I can't for new dresses, and shoes, and purses, and more shoes.
4. Retail Therapy is great but it's like going on a food binge. Makes you feel good when it's happening but then I'm remorseful when I think about it later. Well, maybe not. I did get some cute shoes at some some great prices – Mama, I hope you aren't reading this J
5. I have really been obsessing about my weight lately. It is really bothering me. I don't like being skinny. I'm not a skinny chick. I'm used to looking at myself in the mirror and seeing some booty sticking out. Since becoming a half-marathon runner, I just struggle with my weight and I'm am so discouraged with my jeans sagging in the butt. And people will tell you, oh gosh, you've lost so much weight. Don't you know I know it? Please stop telling me, OK already!
6. I think I'm still mad that my favorite discount shoe website closed down in favor of opening retail stores. I wouldn't care if a store was at least near me. WTH??? I would think you could reach more people with online shopping, but I guess not.
7. Am I the only one who's realized that gas is too freaking high? I mean really ~ $3.41 for regular?
8. I'm thinking is it better to go on an all-inclusive vacation to some tropical island or shopping or both?
9. Things you should not say to a woman?

• When are you going to get married?
• When are ya'll going to have a baby?
• Are you pregnant yet? Well, it will happen?

Look, we understand the state of our lives. We don't need others reminding us of that fact! Ok, that's all of the RANdomness that's on my mind right now.

Thought for the day: My blessing is greater than my hardship.

Pastor Darrell Jackson

Gratitude Journal

I'm grateful for Teddy Grahams.

I'm grateful for a good manicure and pedicure.

I'm grateful that it's ok to get angry as long as you don't stay angry for long.

I'm grateful that I can be grateful J

The Beginning of Better

I had to take a little blogging break. Lots of personal stuff was going on that prevented me from blogging and keep up with my blogging friends. Today, I've been having one of those days when my emotions are getting the best of me, so I decided to return back to my blogging. When I blog and when I run, I seem to get clarity and encouragement.

Short Recap: I'm training again. It's week six of my second half marathon training. My running is good, but my faith is struggling. I know what I know and I even know what I believe, but I'm shaky with taking a step out in faith and believing the impossible. Some days I see it and I feel it, but other days my flesh takes over and I begin to question myself. The reality is I have trust issues. It's hard to trust the unknown. It's hard to trust my thinking and discern if it's me, the enemy or God. I read something about discerning the voice of God and it spoke about how God will speak to you through his Word. He'll also place certain people in your life to help you grow, to stretch you and to mature you. In recent weeks, I've had some conversations that I know have to be God's intervention. Why else would I have been in the situation to hear the advice or the testimonies? You know, friends have been telling me how strong I am, but sometimes I don't want to be strong. I don't want to be the one to pull it together and keep it together. But, I realize I'm just fulfilling my purpose. My favorite song is Never Would Have Made it by Marvin Sapp. This song ministers to me. I feel better every time I hear it. I find strength to dig deeper. This song is on my running playlist and each time it comes on, I run faster, longer and power up hills. On several occasions, my running group has asked, what got in to me? And, I'm like I was listening to Marvin Sapp. This song is my testimony:

Never would have made it, never could've made it, without you
I would have lost it all, but now I see how you were there for me

And I can say
Never would have made it,
Never could have made it,
Without you

I would have lost it all,
But now I see how you were there for me and I can say
I'm stronger, I'm wiser, I'm better, much better,

When I look back over all you brought me thru.
I can see that you were the one that I held on to
And I never
[Chorus] - Never would have made it

I know that God was the one I held on to. It's been so much going on in the last year, and I'm waiting on my season to change. I don't think I'm patiently waiting, but I am waiting. I know it's during this time that God's building me up. He's making me stronger, wiser and better; He's helping me to go through things I never could have imagined.

James 1: 2 – 4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (NIV)

The above scripture just came to mind. Thank You April for choosing this as our scripture reading during last week's prayer group. Patience. Sticks out like an elephant in the room. I want my change to come now, but God isn't like that. Over and over we've heard/read stories in the bible of how it took time for God to manifest his purpose and his plans. Sara was 90 years old when she had a baby. Patience. Sara was impatient and Abraham had a child with his servant. Patience. Maybe, my faith is tied to my Patience and my ability to endure. During my time of waiting for a new season, I have to be Patient. I have to maintain a spirit of gratitude, a heart of praise and a desire to grow closer in my relationship with God. I can't let my circumstances or my situations weigh me down because I am a child of God. He didn't bring me to it, not to bring me through it. So cliché, but so true. Maybe, that's my faith-building lesson for today. Scratch the maybe. It is my faith-building lesson. Joel Osteen preaches a lot on declaring faith and victory over your life. I think this is part of my test. Starting today, I declare a new season. I declare a breakthrough and healing. I declare this is The Beginning of Better. God I trust you. I trust you more than ever. I see you working in my life Lord. I pray for strength to trust you and not question what I don't understand. I'm fulfilling my purpose and honoring and you, Lord. I declare I Made It.

James 1:12 (a) says God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation (NLT)

Gratitude Journal
I am thankful for my health and my strength.
I am thankful this is The Beginning of Better.
I am thankful that I love you.
I am thankful for my mother.
I am thankful for supportive friends.

Here is my favorite song, I pray it ministers to you too.

I Want An A

I should be eating my late night snack or at least sleeping, but instead I'm moved to blog. I hear people say all of the time how the spirit moved them to do something or the Holy Spirit was nudging them. Well, I think I may now be one of those people. Let's rewind three and half hours. I sat down to do this new bible study I started. I'm really trying to focus, commit and block out my distractions (TV, Facebook, internet, phone, etc.). I ignored my text alerts then the phone started ringing. For some reason I answered this call. So, now it's three and a half hours later and three phone calls later and I'm thinking and praying about something. Before I begin to read my bible, I say a quick prayer. It goes something like Holy Spirit come into my presence. God, create in me a clean heart and renew a steadfast spirit. Speak to me and give me wisdom through your words. Amen. Because I believe that nothing just happens or happens by coincidence, then I must believe that God is speaking to me and the spirit is moving me with these thoughts.

My mama didn't raise a quitter, and she didn't raise me to just be average. How many lectures do I remember her saying, why settle for a B and not study when you can study and apply yourself and make an A? And my response: if I don't have to study and can still make a B, then why should I study? Many years later, I get it. You gotta work at some things. What feels good or comfortable is not always our best. You have to push yourself to bring out the best in yourself. Let me get back to running. Every runner wants to be faster. But being faster doesn't just happen. You have to work outside your comfort zone. Speedwork sure isn't easy. I mean really, who wants to do exhausting repeats to the point that you're ready to vomit? But if you don't give up and push past that point of pain, you'll realize on race day that you finished faster, stronger and maybe even set a PR (personal record for my non-running readers). My point is that God wants our best and he wants what's best for us. We can exist and be fine with a B or we can push towards getting that A. Since running my half-marathon, I've been so-so about running. But this week I made a new training plan for myself. I did it because I needed a plan to follow with some clear goals. Mama's message is now loud and clear, and my response at age 30-something is: I'm not a quitter; I'm committed. I've been running for a B, but now it's time I run like that A student. 

The spirit is really on me about some things in my life. I pray, but am I praying continuously. I read the bible, but not every day. I love, but am I forgiving? Being a Christian and being a runner ain't easy. You can't expect results from either if you are not putting in the time and following the plan (God's word). Ephesians chapter 6 instructs us to put on the full armor of God, to stand firm and to resist the devil. As a runner, I put on my "runner's armor" for every run. You won't find me running without my technical clothing, running socks, running shoes, IPOD and Garmin. So, I have to ask myself the hard question, why do I not put on God's armor daily?

Remember Paul's instructions in Romans 12:2 to renew your mind. A renewing of your mind requires putting on God's armor. To me, running is 30% physical and 70% mental. If your mind isn't focused and controlled, your run will suffer. Where the mind goes, the body will go.  I think the spirit was leading me tonight to the conclusion that I have some commitments to make and some commitments to honor. It's not about perfection, but persistence. I don't want just a B when I can attain an A. My new commitments:

1. I need to be a good steward over my finances. I mean really how many pairs of shoes must a girl own and did I really need to purchase that Coach bag on Sunday J!
2. I'm going to PR on my 5K on December 26 so I must do speedwork!
3. I need to get up earlier in the mornings. Earlier days are more productive and I'm less likely to skip a workout on a non-running day.
4. I need to stop skipping my second weight training day during the week.
5. I need to read my bible every (most) day.
6. I need put on God's armor every day.
7. I need to pray continually and in the spirit.
   
   
   Gratitude Journal:
   I'm grateful for the word of thankfulness that I've been reading.
   I'm thankful for hot tea.
   I'm thankful for my Carolina Girls.
   I'm thankful that God allowed me to love such and imperfect man.
   I'm thankful God hears my prayers and knows my needs.

(I just realized I used the word thankful instead of grateful ~ the spirit is still moving). Be Blessed and run harder!

13.1 Lessons I Learned

I did it! I did! By God, I did it! I'm so excited I ran my race and kept the fight! I can't describe the feeling of the race. On race morning, I was just really ready to do it and see what I could do. Everything started off good but as fate would have it I did get a little upset stomach – not enough to make me stop or anything. It was just enough to be annoying and also keep me from really taking my jelly beans at mile four (as practiced and planned) and throughout the race. If you run, then you understand the "stomach issues" that accompany distance running. So, I needed to be cautions because I was not leaving the course for anything. I had a really good run until around mile 8 or 9. This race prides itself on the hills and the great UPHILL finish. At mile 8 or 9, I was running up this street that was nothing but incline for about a ½ mile and that's where I had it. I was like get me off, get me through sweet Jesus. This street was like the energizer bunny. It just kept going and going and going. Now, I've run this twice in my training runs and I knew it was tough but I was not mentally prepared to tackle this. After I finally made it up and to the water stop, I ran a couple of slower miles. I found a little more energy, but by this time I was at the big finish. Tired and thirsty I pushed through the last bit. Finishing was crazy! I don't really remember anyone around me. I heard cheers and saw the clock and the finish line, and everything else was a blur.

I am pleased (more than pleased) to say I ran a half marathon. I did not stop (really). Now, I did do this little run, walk, walk, walk, nah girl keep moving thing twice on the finishing hill. But, I was like NO, you can not stop and I put my butt back in gear. In one year, I went from 0 miles to 13.1 and that's progress. It's determination. It's effort. And, it's perseverance. And, in a nutshell, that's life. It takes effort to live a good life. It takes perseverance to take the uphills, the downhills, the flat areas when life seems to just be moving along and then you run into twists and turns and uncertainty. Training and running this half marathon has taught me a few things I want to share:

13.1 Lessons from My Journey

1. Black Girls Rock and Black Girls RUN!
2. Set goals and aim high. You can't let yourself be your own worst enemy.
3. Put one foot in front of the other and just keep moving.
4. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 (KJ)
5. You can pray and praise God anywhere. I had a few moments along the race course on Saturday.
6. Maintain a spirit of gratitude. Be thankful for each day, each opportunity and each experience.
7. Running friends are Awesome. Some days you have to push someone, other days you are the one being pushed.
8. No run is a bad run. It's an opportunity to do better.
9. ICE heals things. You have to cool things down so the healing process can begin.
10. I LUV to RUN, but I hate getting up in the mornings.
11. Completing this half marathon makes me want to set more goals.
12. It's a great feeling to say I DID IT!
13. The encouragement and support from friends and family is priceless.                               

  .1) Life is a journey full of the unexpected. You can choose to quit or you can choose to keep running. Endure and persevere because God has so much more in store. I believe that's the key to faith building. It ain't over until it's over! Thank you Maurette Clark Brown. That song played on that mile 8 or 9 hill.

Forgive me because I forgot my Gratitude Journal on my last post.

Gratitude Journal

I am grateful for family.
I am grateful for my friends at the finish line and running beside me to the finish.
I am grateful for Massage Envy.
I am grateful for online shopping.
I am grateful for my devotional time.
I am grateful I ROCK!

The Faith To Do

It's race eve and all week I've had mixed emotions ~ nervousness, excitement and anticipation. I know my body is in great shape and I'm running well. My achiness is pretty minimal and my concentration seems good. Everyone I know is encouraging and wants to see me do well. Now it's up to me to channel my energies and make my body do what I KNOW I can do. I've been struggling with believing I'll meet my goal. I fear public failure. I've caught myself a few times saying things like I hope I'm ready or I hope I make my goal time. I hope I can run the entire race without having to stop or I hope my legs are going to hold up and don't cramp on me. Today it dawned on me, why am I settling for just hope? Where is my faith? I've been hoping for a good outcome, but I haven't truly believed it by faith.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."(NIV)

Hebrews 11:1

Yes, hope is necessary but faith without works is dead. Hope produces faith and faith is the belief (the knowing) it shall come to pass. In 14 weeks, I've come a long way in my running and spiritual journey. I praise God for all he's shown me, and what he's yet to do. I've worked through long runs, hot and humid days, sudden cold mornings, dogs, torrential down pours, stomach issues, foot and shin pain, and the enemy attacks on my mind. I really wanted to quit a few times but I always managed to get it together and either get it done or make it through. I made it through my training. I made it through the hardest Saturdays I ever experienced. I made it through the Wednesday Tempo/Mile Repeats/Ladder workouts. I made it up the hills when my body wanted to stop. By God, I made it! As I look back on the past weeks of training, I see why I fought so hard with my mind. It's because I lacked faith. I've been hoping I can do it and hoping I can finish. But now, I'm not just hoping, I have faith. My hope produced faith, and my faith strengthens what I believe. By faith, I receive it and I believe it; I'll run a great race on Saturday. I can't wait to get to the finish line! That's called living with expectancy.

Live in Faith, Walk in Love! (I borrowed this quote)

I'm BACK!

WHOA! It's been way too long since I blogged. But, my life has been a little hectic for the past several weeks. I've literally been RunDown ~physically and mentally. I took some rest days, ran my long run of 9.75 miles (I claimed 10 miles) on September 11th. Ran again on the following Monday and took another six days off. During those rest days, I started to get very discouraged. I did get my doctor to sign off on physical therapy and the first therapist I saw was a bit arrogant and not a very good listener. He told me my ankles have too much mobility and I'm probably not made for distance running. Perhaps I should just shoot for 10Ks. Then he told me, that I'm too slow. For my fitness level, I really should be running about 8-9 min/miles. OK, needless to say I left that office with no intention of returning, but he did get into my head a little bit. I did find another PT who's started working with me on some strengthening and stretching and some wave and laser treatments. My response has been pretty good. The pain in my shins are gone, but I still have some soreness in my lower ankle area after my runs. So, I'm going to work hard in PT and continue stretching and icing and on Nov 13 I will be completing my first half-marathon.

Ok, so let's fast forward a few weeks and let me give you the real news, the best news. I AM A RuNNER GiRL! OK! I'm in the double-digits. Yes, yes, YES. On, September 25, I ran 11.5 miles, and it felt great. It's cool to say yeah, I ran 11.5 miles on Saturday (Hee-Heee). I'm really proud of myself and my accomplishment right now.

Like I said earlier, there has been so much going on lately. I've been in a funk. I've been so tired lately and my legs always seem to bother me. It's been getting me down about this upcoming race. Two Sundays ago, I caught a sermon on the radio, and the minister talked about the need to renew your mind. He gave some points about controlling your thoughts and how negative things can creep in and discourage you, and that we have the power to control what we think about. Renewing your mind takes effort. It's work to fight off negativity and discouragement. I literally have to stop and say not my will, but Your will. God, what am I being led to do or what are you speaking to me right now? And, when I remove the clutter, he does speak to me. I only hear him when I choose to listen.

Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Renewing my mind is a constant act of will on my part. Running 10 miles is easy, compared to controlling my thoughts and trusting God's got my back. But just as He would have it, when I'm frustrated or things are getting the best of me, He shows up. Just today I had two reminders of why I should maintain a thankful heart. His grace is sufficient. I believe that.

Grateful Journal

I'm grateful for the lessons in life - big or small.

I'm grateful for my mother.

I'm grateful for my mother-in-law.

I'm grateful for my health.

I'm grateful for a renewed mind.

I'm grateful for clean sheets on my bed.

I'm grateful for a good night's rest after a little talk with Jesus ~ he always makes it all right.

Today, I challenge you to renew your mind. Let go of the little things that in the end don't matter. Cherish the time you have with those you love. Forgive those who hurt you or disappointed you in any way. Life is too short and too full of things you can't change. You can't make up for time you lost being selfish. Purpose your heart to love and respect people. God created us to love each other. It doesn't matter what someone else does or doesn't do, but it matters what you do and how you respond. Respond in love ~ it makes all the difference.

Stay tuned for my update on my 4-mile easy run in torrential rains!!!! I'm a RUNNER for sure........

R.E.S.T.

OK, so I had to follow my own advice, listen to my body, and take a REST break. and right now everything below the knees are straight tripping. Six days and no running and I'm tripping. I didn't even get to do my first track workout on Saturday (tear, tear, long sob). Week 3 was indeed a beast and the hill workouts just stressed my already tight gastrocnemius, soleus, and plantar fascia ~ in other words, the big calf muscle, the deep one underneath the big calf muscle and the bottoms of my feet. Hills are stressful because the require muscular strength and you have to change your running gait just a bit to overcome the incline. You can not run anywhere in this city without three or more hills. And guess what? I picked the hilliest, first half marathon I could find. YAY! ME! This race prides itself on the hills and the big one at the 12-13 mile finish which I did run(without stopping) prior to everything locking up on me. But, this is just a little set back. I just have to change up my strategy a little.

I had one of my bi-weekly appointments with my chiropractor today for some soft tissue work and I'm awaiting a call back from my orthopedist so I can go back to physical therapy. YEP! I love my great insurance. Without it, where would I be (probably a couch potato or on the elliptical reading a book)? And, because I have this great exercise science background, I know what to request in my treatment course. So, doctor's nurse please call back first thing in the morning. I know it was a holiday Monday and all, but I need to get moving on my PT eval and treatment plan. I can't stop running.... I told you guys earlier that runners are crazy and this is more than a sign that I'm a real runner even if I haven't hit my double digits yet.

I'm about to heat and stretch before bed and I'm actually going to run in my compression sleeves tomorrow morning. No speedwork or hills, hopefully just a good run and a very good long run on Saturday ~ no less than 8 miles.

Grateful Journal

I am grateful for graham crackers with cream cheese and strawberry preserves.

I am grateful to see my mom turn 61 and still no wrinkles.

I am grateful for family.

I am grateful that I don't need to be right all of the time.

I am grateful that I can still see the good.

I am grateful I'm learning how not to sweat the small stuff ~ it just doesn't matter.

I am grateful for my running group.

I am grateful for prayer.

Today's inspiration comes from a blog I read over the weekend and I fell in love with the acronym P.U.S.H. (Pray Until Something Happens). Jesus said in Luke 18:27 "What is impossible with men is possible with God." I'm praying ya'll. I'm praying for healing, health and strength, my family, financial blessings, and my friends and the desires of their hearts. And where two or three are touching and agreeing, God will show up in the midst. Let's pray ya'll! And, I'm going to run on too. Lacing up the Brooks, it's going to be a good run!