Loving me is probably the most powerful affirmation this week. I’m at that thirty-something point in my life when I’m evaluating my career, family, friends, and my general purpose in life. I had a conversation with myself the other day (Yes, I talk to myself. It’s a result of being an only-child), and I thought out loud, “Do I really believe the things that I tell myself?” I think about all those feel good things I say to negate the doubt and insecurities that have a way of creeping up in my mind. I stop and remind myself, guard your heart and watch what infiltrates your mind because you’ll start to fixate on those things. I know there is a scripture somewhere; I’ll have to look it up later. As I started to blog tonight, I started thinking about that conversation with myself and what I believe and why. These thoughts were sparked from recent conversations with friends and so I decided the third thing on my Things I’m Loving On List would be dedicated to ME.
I love me for so many reasons, but the most important reason is because God created me—and he certainly broke the mold. I love my imperfect self. See, perfection is something I’ll never attain. But, in my imperfections, I stand to gain much. It’s in my imperfections that I have to reach, to stretch, to push, to confront and ultimately to Grow. My imperfections set the stage for my self expectations. They encourage me to want and to try to do better. Some see imperfections as weaknesses, but I see them as opportunities and blessings. See, God gave us a miraculous thing when he gave us grace. Everyday you have breath is a day to work on your imperfections. It’s an opportunity to thank God for the beauty of the mess. I’m reminded of a part in the book The Shack by W.M. Paul Young. The main character is meeting and conversing with God. They take a walk to work in this garden. Once they’re finished, he looks around and responds, "it’s mess." But, God responds yes, and it’s perfect. Lightbulb Moment! God sees the finished garden as a purposeful, perfect mess. Ding!Ding!Ding! The garden is like my life—a perfect mess. My imperfect self is the garden. And, it dawns on me as I’m blogging my thoughts, this is the meaning of living on purpose. Examining your mess, your imperfections, and purposing your heart to live better, do better, worship better, love better and just be better.
At this moment, I’m loving me even more than I did yesterday. Tonight, when I say my prayers, I have even more to be thankful for. I better understand living my purpose. In the words of Steve Harvey, “Don’t trip because God ain’t through with me yet!” And, he’s not through with me yet. I have to grow still and listen and live each day purposefully wonderful giving thanks and praise because it’s only by his grace that I’m saved and I have another chance~ to do better.
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