I had to take a little blogging break. Lots of personal stuff was going on that prevented me from blogging and keep up with my blogging friends. Today, I've been having one of those days when my emotions are getting the best of me, so I decided to return back to my blogging. When I blog and when I run, I seem to get clarity and encouragement.
Short Recap: I'm training again. It's week six of my second half marathon training. My running is good, but my faith is struggling. I know what I know and I even know what I believe, but I'm shaky with taking a step out in faith and believing the impossible. Some days I see it and I feel it, but other days my flesh takes over and I begin to question myself. The reality is I have trust issues. It's hard to trust the unknown. It's hard to trust my thinking and discern if it's me, the enemy or God. I read something about discerning the voice of God and it spoke about how God will speak to you through his Word. He'll also place certain people in your life to help you grow, to stretch you and to mature you. In recent weeks, I've had some conversations that I know have to be God's intervention. Why else would I have been in the situation to hear the advice or the testimonies? You know, friends have been telling me how strong I am, but sometimes I don't want to be strong. I don't want to be the one to pull it together and keep it together. But, I realize I'm just fulfilling my purpose. My favorite song is Never Would Have Made it by Marvin Sapp. This song ministers to me. I feel better every time I hear it. I find strength to dig deeper. This song is on my running playlist and each time it comes on, I run faster, longer and power up hills. On several occasions, my running group has asked, what got in to me? And, I'm like I was listening to Marvin Sapp. This song is my testimony:
Never would have made it, never could've made it, without you
I would have lost it all, but now I see how you were there for me
And I can say
Never would have made it,
Never could have made it,
I would have lost it all,
But now I see how you were there for me and I can say
I'm stronger, I'm wiser, I'm better, much better,
When I look back over all you brought me thru.
I can see that you were the one that I held on to
And I never
[Chorus] - Never would have made it
I know that God was the one I held on to. It's been so much going on in the last year, and I'm waiting on my season to change. I don't think I'm patiently waiting, but I am waiting. I know it's during this time that God's building me up. He's making me stronger, wiser and better; He's helping me to go through things I never could have imagined.
James 1: 2 – 4: Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (NIV)
The above scripture just came to mind. Thank You April for choosing this as our scripture reading during last week's prayer group. Patience. Sticks out like an elephant in the room. I want my change to come now, but God isn't like that. Over and over we've heard/read stories in the bible of how it took time for God to manifest his purpose and his plans. Sara was 90 years old when she had a baby. Patience. Sara was impatient and Abraham had a child with his servant. Patience. Maybe, my faith is tied to my Patience and my ability to endure. During my time of waiting for a new season, I have to be Patient. I have to maintain a spirit of gratitude, a heart of praise and a desire to grow closer in my relationship with God. I can't let my circumstances or my situations weigh me down because I am a child of God. He didn't bring me to it, not to bring me through it. So cliché, but so true. Maybe, that's my faith-building lesson for today. Scratch the maybe. It is my faith-building lesson. Joel Osteen preaches a lot on declaring faith and victory over your life. I think this is part of my test. Starting today, I declare a new season. I declare a breakthrough and healing. I declare this is The Beginning of Better. God I trust you. I trust you more than ever. I see you working in my life Lord. I pray for strength to trust you and not question what I don't understand. I'm fulfilling my purpose and honoring and you, Lord. I declare I Made It.
James 1:12 (a) says God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation (NLT)
I am thankful for my health and my strength.
I am thankful this is The Beginning of Better.
I am thankful that I love you.
I am thankful for my mother.
I am thankful for supportive friends.
Here is my favorite song, I pray it ministers to you too.